Our eight-week grief support class has come to an end. I’m going to miss these ladies. It was such a privilege to be a small part of their grief journey.
Our grief group has been open and vulnerable about where they are in their grief journey. As we have learned (through the book Understanding Your Grief by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.), you have to feel to heal. Grief is on the inside, and mourning is grief on the outside.
We also learned some healthy ways to mourn: crying, journaling, painting, and talking about your pain and grief, sharing your story.
As many of you may (or may not) know, my son just picked a university!!! Not without many visits, many explorations, etc. that go along with such an important decision.
Finally, we had it narrowed down to two schools. One has an incredible sports program, is more than 36 “driving” hours away from our house, and offered him an incredible scholarship. The second school (and my personal fav) offers an incredible Biomechanics (also sports med but more robotic) program, is only 5 hours away, and offered him an even better scholarship.
In the end, we told McKinley he was the one who was going to have to live with his decision and we would support either. So, the process began. I offered advice (as usual). My suggestion when choosing between one or more options is to “wear it.”
If you’ve been around me for any amount of time, you’ll know that one of my favorite words is “katartismos.” This Greek word comes out of Ephesians 4:12 and refers to “fitting together in proper order” (referring to gifts, etc. in the Body of Christ).
Another definition of this word (which is my personal favorite) is “a chiropractic adjustment in the Spirit.” Many of you experienced this during our most recent retreat. You will also experience it many times during your ongoing prayer ministry sessions.
Today, however, I would like to introduce you to my new favorite word!!! “Sabbatismos!” (Ref. Hebrews 4:10.)
Have you ever felt like one day you woke up and everything you believed was in question? I’m experiencing this right now but am quite sure I am not yet even fully awake. So, not only am I questioning all of the things that I have always “known” for sure, but I am also groggy from the process of getting here. It took a lot of upheaval to get me here.
My life plan was really unleashed at the Transformations retreat. I sat in session after session listening to women and one man being vulnerable, broken, authentic and open to healing.
I was in a session that broke off years of lies, inner vows, and a lifetime of walls that had protected my heart. A group of women repented on behalf of the church for how I had been hurt by the church, and then they washed my feet. Really, who are these women? They are God’s messengers into a broken world where our heartache, disappointment, inner vows, and generational sins keep us stuck when sometimes we have no idea why.
One peaceful morning on the retreat, I was having my quiet time down by the lake when something caught my immediate attention. I was looking towards the sun, and through the wooden beams around the deck I noticed cobwebs everywhere between each beam exposed by the sunlight. All the intricate lines and patterns were revealed, creating their own specific detailed designs.
I love dreams. I love having them. I love interpreting them.
Most folks have dreams. Dreams are often crazy. Let me rephrase: Dreams often seem crazy. They are, in fact, created in amazing symbolism. Some folks think that in itself is crazy. But in case you haven’t noticed, God is crazy. I mean, come on, have you read His book?
I am convinced that whatever our natural instinct is, God wants us to operate in the opposite. Take “lovers” versus “fighters,” for example. If you know me, you would know I am a fighter. I’ve been fighting my whole life. History would support that I have been fighting since the day I was conceived. In fact, one definition of my name means “tenacious one, or persevering.” I have to “fight” not to fight.
My name is Kerri Johnson. For the past 20+ years, I have searched for answers to my own struggles. My lifelong passion has been in pursuit of my true identity and the healing of body, soul, and spirit. Out of those studies, Transformations was birthed. Transformations is an interactive healing process and a catalyst for helping people come out of the lies they believe and into the fullness of truth and identity.
Unfortunately, many of us spend our entire lives trying to mask who we are. That’s what we are taught. We are taught that we should hide our scars and shortcomings to survive and thrive in this perfect world. Neither of those statements is true. We shouldn’t hide our hurt, and the world is far from perfect. To be authentic, we have to identify our pain, bring it forward, and offer it on the altar of life to be able to be free. Otherwise, pain is our autopilot in everything we are, do, and say.
You don’t realize how long you’ve been holding your breath until you finally start to breathe. I am living now in a depth of peace – mentally, physically, spiritually – that I’ve never experienced before. Everything is different. I’m not making it happen. It just “is.”
It started three days ago. I knew my prayer ministry session would be big by how stirred up I felt. I was almost resistant. The last time I felt that way was the breakthrough that saved my life from cancer 11 years ago, when I repented of “death wish.” So I knew this would be big. But I couldn’t have imagined what was coming.