“When I Was Younger, I Had Two Abortions”

Question: “When I was younger, I had two abortions. Now I am so very much against abortion but inside I feel like a hypocrite. Is that normal?”

First of all, let me say that I completely understand. We often make decisions when we are young without knowing the truth (or thinking about the long-term ramifications). For example, are you aware that Norma McCorvey “Roe” of Roe v. Wade has just retracted her support of abortion? Can you imagine?! She has now become Pro-life!

As for feeling like a hypocrite, I understand that also. Ask God to forgive you for your sins and then forgive yourself. God wants more than anything to set you free from condemnation, and your repentance is the first step. Once you’ve repented, use your testimony to prevent someone else from going through the emotional despair that you have gone through AND save the life of an innocent child at the same time! That’s how we overcome sin! Use your voice and your testimony. Before long, you’ll realize all of that condemnation is gone AND God gets the glory!!!

 

“Will Not Attending Church Keep Me out of Heaven?”

Question: “I have struggled to find a church and am not attending any. Will this keep me out of Heaven?”

I’m sorry that you aren’t able to attend church right now. I do not believe that this will keep you out of heaven. I do want to encourage you to keep searching for a church. Scripture says “forsake not the fellowship” in Hebrews 10:25 and I do believe it is very important to find a church group, whether it be house church or storefront, or even a church with a steeple because we need a spiritual family. Ideally, we grow, learn, tithe, are accountable, and experience the fullness of relationship in a church family. Without that, we are alone and isolated, and that’s not good. That is a strategy of the enemy, to keep us isolated.

With that being said, I also do understand that there are seasons of change that may not allow us to “fellowship” in a “church.” But that doesn’t mean you can pull away altogether. I believe we should ALWAYS be in relationship with others who are growing in Christ and will help us to grow. Otherwise, we will fall to the wayside in our own relationship with Christ and that is detrimental to our spiritual health and our own testimony of our relationship with Jesus. There shouldn’t be anything that separates us from “a Body” other than the strategy of the enemy.

 

“Why Is Cleaning Unsettling?”

Question: “I just spent 3 days cleaning my entire apartment. Inside-out. Got rid of boxes/closets/drawers full of stuff that’s been there since I moved in 5 years ago. You would think (and it’s usually the case for me) that after such a huge cleaning I would feel amazing. Instead, I feel very unsettled, disoriented, vulnerable. I have no idea why. I didn’t get rid of anything important, just years worth of old junk.”

Great question! And congrats on “cleaning out your closet” (so to speak). Just imagine that what you are doing spiritually is parallel to the natural. And what usually happens when you clean out your closets or behind your bed, etc.? You find lots of dust bunnies (or at least I do). And what else happens? You stir up a lot of “dust.” Anytime we make attempts to “bring things into order” whether it be physically, or emotionally, we stir things up. And this also stirs things up in the spirit.

We attach a lot of “value” to our “things.” And when we let things go, we often feel vulnerable and “discombobulated.” The same thing happens in our soul. When we dig around in the area of our heart we feel unsettled (for a little while). Give it a couple of days and see how you feel. I would encourage you to anoint your new clean space with oil, invite Holy Spirit to come in and fill the new space … wouldn’t even hurt to open a window and just covenant with a new season of fresh wind and purity in the name of Jesus!!!

 

“Will Inner Healing Help My Attitude? Lately, I’ve Been Angry … “

Question: “Will inner healing help my attitude? Lately, I’ve been angry with my husband for one reason or another, and he tells me I need to change my attitude. Help!”

Yes, inner healing will help your attitude. Most importantly, it will help you discover the underlying reason you have an attitude in the first place.

It’s kind of like if you walk around with a rock in your sock. You can change your walk, change your shoes, etc. but until you remove all of the outer layers (all the way down to your socks) you’re still going to walk with a limp. UNTIL YOU REMOVE THE ROCK.

Offense is like a rock in our sock except it’s a rock in our heart. Once we’ve been hurt, we decide to guard our heart. Unfortunately, guarding our heart means it gets harder and harder. And then, it spills out in our relationships, both with God and others.

Inner healing helps us track back to what actually started the hardness in our heart. Then, we deal with it. And our hardness melts. We are able to hold our heart open again.

The best thing is that when we have our heart healed, we aren’t hurt by what others do to us. Once our heart is healed, we can then ask the Holy Spirit to guard our heart and help us with the hearts of others.

It’s amazing, and we don’t have to do all of the work ourselves. That’s why Jesus died for us, so we don’t have to deal with these things on our own.

I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you; I will take the heart of stone out of your flesh and give you a heart of flesh. — Ezekiel 36:26 (NKJV)

 

The First One to Die Wins

Funny how I’ve always heard that “the one with the most toys wins.” But then I tried all of the toys and didn’t feel like a winner. I just had a lot of crap to keep up with and maintain. (Other than the dirt bike that I still thoroughly enjoy.)

But as I get older, I am coming to a much greater revelation. The revelation that the more I die to my life — my desires, my goals, my ideals, my right to be right — the more satisfied I feel. Doesn’t make any sense, I know. But I’ve gained a lot of experience fighting in the past 50 years, and I am starting to realize: I’ve been doing it wrong. I need to have someone else fight for me. That’s what I’ve always wanted. I just didn’t know how to get there. Continue reading “The First One to Die Wins”

Am I the Only One that Argues with God?

Philippians 2:12-14

New Living Translation (NLT)

Shine Brightly for Christ

12 Dear friends, you always followed my instructions when I was with you. And now that I am away, it is even more important. Work hard to show the results of your salvation, obeying God with deep reverence and fear. 13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him. 14 Do everything without complaining and arguing …

Did you notice how that last verse stood out? Continue reading “Am I the Only One that Argues with God?”

I Was a Mess

I was a hurt little pup … and when a person is hurt, they hurt others. When a person is hurt, they also start believing lies. My lies began when I was very young. My parents divorced when I was in first grade. From that point on, I believed I wasn’t as good as others. I wore the shame of divorce like the proverbial scarlet letter. Somehow, I became a second-class citizen. That, among other things, set my dysfunctional course in motion. Living a “lesser life” made me “settle” in a lot of different ways. That single lie and a lot more dysfunctional fertilizer almost cost me my life. Continue reading “I Was a Mess”