I was born into an upper middle class home, never lacking for anything materially, and yet lacking in spiritual freedom. Growing up as a child, I felt like I always had a dark cloud over my head. I was probably not depressed but just kind of sad and empty, no joy. And yet, I had all of my physical needs met.
Frustration, anguish, and shame permeated my being. How could a seemingly insignificant secret cause such pain?
My nephew moved his family of six across the state line for a new job and a fresh start when illness struck. His wife was taking care of their three little ones at home with health issues. My niece was in the hospital alone. And I couldn’t get there to help. My little secret was exposed. I couldn’t drive on the interstate, or for any distance really, without having a full-blown panic attack.
As many of you may (or may not) know, my son just picked a university!!! Not without many visits, many explorations, etc. that go along with such an important decision.
Finally, we had it narrowed down to two schools. One has an incredible sports program, is more than 36 “driving” hours away from our house, and offered him an incredible scholarship. The second school (and my personal fav) offers an incredible Biomechanics (also sports med but more robotic) program, is only 5 hours away, and offered him an even better scholarship.
In the end, we told McKinley he was the one who was going to have to live with his decision and we would support either. So, the process began. I offered advice (as usual). My suggestion when choosing between one or more options is to “wear it.”
If you’ve been around me for any amount of time, you’ll know that one of my favorite words is “katartismos.” This Greek word comes out of Ephesians 4:12 and refers to “fitting together in proper order” (referring to gifts, etc. in the Body of Christ).
Another definition of this word (which is my personal favorite) is “a chiropractic adjustment in the Spirit.” Many of you experienced this during our most recent retreat. You will also experience it many times during your ongoing prayer ministry sessions.
Today, however, I would like to introduce you to my new favorite word!!! “Sabbatismos!” (Ref. Hebrews 4:10.)
Have you ever felt like one day you woke up and everything you believed was in question? I’m experiencing this right now but am quite sure I am not yet even fully awake. So, not only am I questioning all of the things that I have always “known” for sure, but I am also groggy from the process of getting here. It took a lot of upheaval to get me here.
My life plan was really unleashed at the Transformations retreat. I sat in session after session listening to women and one man being vulnerable, broken, authentic and open to healing.
I was in a session that broke off years of lies, inner vows, and a lifetime of walls that had protected my heart. A group of women repented on behalf of the church for how I had been hurt by the church, and then they washed my feet. Really, who are these women? They are God’s messengers into a broken world where our heartache, disappointment, inner vows, and generational sins keep us stuck when sometimes we have no idea why.
One peaceful morning on the retreat, I was having my quiet time down by the lake when something caught my immediate attention. I was looking towards the sun, and through the wooden beams around the deck I noticed cobwebs everywhere between each beam exposed by the sunlight. All the intricate lines and patterns were revealed, creating their own specific detailed designs.
I love dreams. I love having them. I love interpreting them.
Most folks have dreams. Dreams are often crazy. Let me rephrase: Dreams often seem crazy. They are, in fact, created in amazing symbolism. Some folks think that in itself is crazy. But in case you haven’t noticed, God is crazy. I mean, come on, have you read His book?